Love's not a competition(?)

So you're doing better in your love life than your ex. Want a medal?

Why is it that when relationships break down, everything between you both is suddenly a race? It's all who can get over who first, who can get a date first, who can get laid first, ultimately, who can reach their happily ever after first.

It's like a game of anything you can do I can do better. Or anyone. Or any where.

The annoying thing is that none of the, now competitive, points were ever anything to worry about when you were together. Going on a holiday without the other? Not a problem. More friends than the other? Who cares. Better job? So what.

When you're a couple none of this stuff matters because you're competing together. You're in the 'couples only' three-legged race - singles on the bench. These hurdles include: moving in together, marriage, babies. It's a long race. And not many finish it.

At least in the singles race the only way you can go is forward. The challenges are still brutal though: who looks better post-breakup? who had the best holiday? Instagrams with the most likes win.

And the worst thing that can happen in the singles olympics is watching an ex-partner defect to the three-legged competition.

All this is happily fostered in the breeding ground of hate that is social media bragging. If it wasn't for Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram, would we even know anything about the other's life? Would we care half as much? Can you honestly say you've not scrolled through a home-feed with just a little bit of terror that you might come across a humble-brag announcing something you were not emotionally prepared to see?

As a perpetual loser in this competition I have to ask, does it really feel that good to be 'winning'? Even if you are ahead in the race, or - worse - if you've upgraded to the three-legger, does it mean you're at peace with everything? Bear in mind - you are still running.

Personally, I'm all for dropping out of the race entirely. I'm not a very good runner anyway, and if I need to keep fit, I've got emotional baggage to lift.

Anyway, here are some of Hayley Williams' dulcet tones. Kaiser Chiefs, you know the struggle.

Paramore more more

I have a pretty poor taste in life experiences. If I had a bucket list there would only be one thing on it: "To see Paramore perform 'That's What You Get'" and I could cross that off. Don't say you weren't warned. Despite this obviously dumb love for something trivial I was underwhelmed by their first release from their 2013 self titled album, 'Now'. It wasn't until  BBCR1's Live Lounge version of Still Into You that I decided to sit up and listen.

'Growing Up' is the punchy introduction into the "you're on your own; grow up and deal with it" theme. A message both for the band's ageing audience as well as themselves. There's a lot of speculation on how they'll do post the issues of 2011 but I'm a New Critic and dealing with autobiography is for the smaller minded. 'Ain't it Fun' is a bittersweet, gospel choir included, reiteration of this theme. The really good one.

'[One of Those] Crazy Girls' doesn't do much in feminist agenda but who am I to judge when it's been in my head since last Tuesday. Appropriate when mixed with Silver Linings Playbook.

The passive aggressive rub-it-in-your-face-I'm-so-happy (slightly Hawaiian?) interludes 'Moving On'/'Holiday'/'I'm Not Angry Anymore' break up the volumes with a vindictive smirk I am 100% on board with.

'Fast In My Car' is also very appropriate when bought on CD and rocking in a ten year old/battered Skoda Fabia. Who says you need a good stereo-system or anything that can go over 70mph anyway.

I was asked if Paramore is "better than their old stuff" and I don't really have an answer for that. I recognise that saying "it's different" is about as helpful as covering doorhandles in mashed potato but it's just that. Different. I guess any woman who can fearlessly wear her fringe like this will have my admiration no matter what. 

Look at how badass that is. I believe it's this haircut which inspired the lyrics to 'Proof': "If I'm a woman with no fear just like I claim I am" - obviously you are Williams, obviously you are.