I'm in love with the coco(nuts)

Did you know that on average, coconuts kill around 150 people a year. Did you also know that on average, coconut oil is not known to have caused any deaths? Except the unrecorded deaths of my split ends, combination skin and yellowing teeth? I bet you didn't, huh.

My first encounter with the acclaimed coconuts was through a quest for a miracle hair growth product. Several YouTubers absolutely swore by it. So I invested in the product that's gone from strength to strength in health food shops, crazy cat lady handbags, and now, our supermarkets. Since then, it's safe to say I use it for pretty much everything.

Hair

Apparently used by the likes of Blake Lively and other beautifully-locked celebrities, using coconut oil as a hair mask is a common practice. I'll direct you to YouTube for tutorials, unfortunately you'll have to wait another day for photos of me with a cling-filmed head.

To apply the oil as a hair mask, I very haphazardly just cover my whole head in it - root to tip - clingfilm my hair to my head, and sleep in it. Yes, this is messy, uncomfortable and sometimes cold so a top tip is to pull an old t-shirt over your head and then pull it back up, so the neck of the t-shirt sits round your hairline and forms a faux-turban. Less messy, definitely warmer, still uncomfortable.

I used to do this twice a week, but after noticing no immediate growth, switched to once a fortnight or so. In fact, I haven't actually noticed it contribute to my growth at all. Which is a downer. It's why I bought it after all. But it has made it stronger, glossier and after that first wash, so soft to the touch.

It's really not a total waste of time, because the other factors do make it worth the trouble. But I do wish it would make my hair grow.
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Skin

If it's good enough for my hair follicles, it's good enough for my pores. Right?

After my hair-xperimentation, I decided to go the whole hog and just slap the oil right onto my face. I am blessed with combination skin, meaning that I can be spotty, oily and dry all at the same time. Skin schizophrenia means you don't have much to lose.

For ten minutes a day, I coat my face in a thin layer of coconut oil. I watch some Netflix, pack my bag for work, file my nails – do whatever menial suff I've got to do – and then wash it off with warm water and a little bit of face-wash (if I have any) or Dove soap*.

Since this process began, I have had actual compliments about how good my skin looks. Acne scars are reduced, bags under my eyes are less prominent and overall blemishes are but a fragment of what they used to be. All boxes ticked.
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Teeth

Oil pulling? I must admit I hadn't heard of this one until I was a well-faired coconut oil user. The idea is you're supposed to use the oil as a mouthwash, spooning a teaspoon in your mouth and swilling for as long as you can stand. I did read that 20 minutes is optimum, but I've never been a fan of holding anything in my mouth that long.

The swilling (or 'pulling' as it's called) is supposed to leave you with whiter, bacteria-free teeth. So far, I've not seen any noticeable improvement. But it's not a bad practice, tastes OK and I'll give anything for nicer teeth.

You can also oil pull on your nails, which I've noticed has been working – wiping over a small amount and washing off after a little while, gives you a brighter shine, and fixes a multitude of nail polish related sins.

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Food

A friend of mine cooks with nothing else, and I'm convinced I have her to thank for my shrinking waistline. As Joey says "it tastes the same and my pants fit better". What more do I need to say?

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The coconut brand I like, is friendly to my bank account, and I will continue to use is Tesco's Organic Virgin Coconut Oil. Oddly branded as a food, and found just a bit too close to the chickens. 


*People tell me I'm crazy for using soap on my face. Perhaps they're right and it's why I have combination skin. But I like it. Dove has enough moisturising qualities that both dry out the oily bits and moisturise the dry bits. And I can safely say it's one of the only beauty products I've used since birth. So I trust that bad boy. Live long and stay soapy, Dove.