Graduates: the real world is coming

Lena Dunham writes in her debut novel "Upon graduation I had felt a heavy sense of doom, a sense that nothing would ever be simple again." Graduated one whole year, my first bit of advice to newborn graduates would be: don't set your expectations too high.

Congratulations! You're graduated! You're free! No more late nights finishing essays in a library. No more minus sign next to your bank account. No more annoying housemates. Right?

Even on a decent 'graduate' wage, you'll still need your overdraft

If you try living a Taylor Swift lifestyle on a minimum wage budget, it'll bite you in the ass. Just because you're earning, doesn't mean you can buy everything.

This sucks, and is a lesson to be learnt the hard way. Luckily most banks are forgiving creatures and let you keep the interest free overdraft for a little bit longer.

No more late nights. Full stop.

The "real world" is made up of two kinds of people: morning people, and people who suffer. If you're part of the latter category, to save yourself from a life behind bars for killing the person who wouldn't stop talking before 9am, try adjusting to early(ier) nights.

It sucks, but between those and caffeine, you might not kill anyone.

You can pick your friends, you can't pick your housemates

The chances are you're going to end up in one of two scenarios: living with (new) housemates, or with your parents.

New housemates come with a whole new bunch of issues to deal with. Perhaps they're different ages, earn different salaries, work out at 6am or party hard until 4am? Or, they could be your next best friend (or even boyfriend?!) disguised as the bill keeper.

But living with your parents presents a political minefield. You left the house as a post-pubescent 18 year old. You're coming back as a slightly broken adult. Try integrating now. Both options, potentially, suck.

Graduated one year and what have we learned? Nothing really changes. Three years of bad habits can take more than one year to break. And it kind of sucks, but this is the real world we were all warned about. So, newborn graduates, suck it up, and learn to love it.