From break up to make up: makeover review

When I was so unceremoniously broken up with this winter I made a decision: if I'm going to feel miserable, I will look fabulous.

As a beauty-therapy first timer, I threw myself in at the deep end. I was heading to Thailand for two-weeks and thought it was about time I undertook some of those treatments that are key to a low-maintenance beauty regime. So I went to a local beauty parlour across several lunch breaks to get a variety of treatments - and give my body the first-rate makeover it needed.

Here's what a waxing/threading/tinting virgin thought of them.

Shellac nails

Expectations: Gorgeous nails with no-maintenance.
Reality: Gorgeous nails! For about a week. Sometimes they last months, sometimes they chip almost instantly. There's no guarantee. And taking them off is far more difficult than normal paint.
Discomfort rating: Take a friend if you're not a fan of awkward small talk with your technician. Not an activity you can fiddle on your phone during.

Overall score:
✌ ✌ ✌ ✌

Eyelash tint

Expectations: Thick, long lashes that were invisible before because they get a bit blonde at the end. Right?
Reality: Realising that your lashes aren't shy. They're just not there. But nonetheless, perfect if you want to look more naturally well-groomed in a situation that doesn't require a full face of warpaint.
Discomfort rating: Being led down for ten minutes with your eyes closed? Unless you're allergic, this is probably the least uncomfortable treatment I've ever had.

Overall score:
✌ ✌ ✌ ✌

Eyebrow threading

Expectations: Shaped-up brows with a natural attitude.
Reality: Good shape, but was the pain worth it?
Discomfort rating: Eye-watering. Stick to plucking or try waxing.

Overall score:
✌ ✌ ✌

Eyebrow tint

Expectations: A face that's effortlessly sassy.
Reality: You might find it a bit terrifying at first. There's something about defined eyebrows that changes your facial appearance quite drastically. Once you're used to it, it'll be one of the most cost-effective facial treatments you can have.
Discomfort rating: You might look a bit weird. But hey, at least nobody's looking at your butt-hole.

Overall score:
✌ ✌ ✌ ✌ ✌

Eyelash perm

Expectations: Curvy, fluttery eyelashes that'll give you Zooey Deschanel eyes.
Reality: Curled eyelashes that really need to be tinted to give the full effect. Doesn't quite last the six weeks you're promised and the treatment takes nearly a full hour. Not a good one to undertake on a lunch break.
Discomfort rating: The little rods were a scratchy surprise.

Overall score:
✌ ✌

Leg wax

Expectations: Some ouchies resulting in smooth, razored-free, beach ready limbs.
Reality: Grows back a lot faster than you paid for. If the hair on my head required as much cutting as the hair on my legs, I could give Rapunzel a run for her money.
Discomfort rating: Not so painful as the bikini wax, but when your therapist is more interested in chatting than working, you might as well just shave.

Overall score:
✌ ✌ ✌

Bikini wax

Expectations: This will hurt. This will be worth it. I will have the genitals of a dolphin.
Reality: Talking about your holidays with a total stranger whilst face down, holding your butt-cheeks apart and praying that the next wax strip won't draw blood. Long term? Little-to-no maintenance leaving your holidays (or a naughty weekend) razor-free.
Discomfort rating: Breathe through it. It's not quite up there with piercings and root canals, but boy, sometimes you will want to kick your therapist in the crotch.

Overall score:
✌ ✌ ✌ ✌

All treatments undertaken at Eastern Arts, Winchester, March 2015.