50 Other Dirty Novels

Sorry boys, it's not the first dirty book to be written, but it might be the first you've heard about it.

Yep, women are getting off, and we don't need you to do it. I don't want to be the one to shatter your illusions but people are acting like nobody's ever seen a naughty novel before.

Women have been talking about books like this for years. Trust me. We share them. To this day I remember vividly the passage in The Playground Mafia my friend gave me to read at the tender age of 14. Most of the naughty novels I own today were given away free by Cosmo. Think how many readers that has a month, think of all those women tearing through passages of Freya North's recent release and getting hot over a fictional teacher or bridge builder. Nobody reads them because of their compelling storyline or deep and interesting characters. They want a how-to guide of improving sex in a fictional construction that nurtures both romantic and physical fantasies.

Finally, the question over whether it's great literature is irrelevant, see: any porn aimed at men i.e. all of it. And maybe it's a crappy book, but as if your Zoo or Nuts magazine is a work of art. We watch crappy movies movies because we enjoy them, so we'll read crappy books for the same reason.

And don't go getting all insecure because you're not Christian Grey, women have had to deal with the fact they're not the high-profile, lusted after, sex symbols, i.e. Megan Fox, for years. So do not even think of going there.