Jobless, boyfriendless and living at home with my parents. Starting from the bottom. Happy New Year to me.
No job, no partner, no bills – no problem. 2015 was both vile and wonderful in equal parts, but when asked if I would relive the year of plenty, the answer was no. No, I would not.
When 2016 loomed, I knew I had a choice. To do what I'd always done, and get what I'd always got, or mix things up a bit. Surely things couldn't get much worse.
In November 2015, after a season of dithering, I made up my mind. I began throwing out my stuff at home, handed in my four week's notice and tried to convince my mother that at nearly 23 years old, maybe it was time I gave being independent a go.
Now, fresh off a plane and blinking my squinty eyes into 2016, I've reached the point where all my plans have come to a halt. My page is blank. My slate is clean. I'm staring into the abyss and dawn is about to break.
So, before everything changes and I get a fabulous job, have a string of lovers and become beautiful overnight circa Shakira, let's review the starting point...
- Weight: more pounds than my bank account aka 138lbs.
- Hair: blonde, although rocking some seriously 80s roots, and collar length. One haircut in 2015 did wonders for length, as opposed to the "recommended for growth" 6-8 weekly cuts I had in 2014.
Mental note: cutting hair makes it shorter.
- Dating life: ten months single, humbly extended my six-month dating hiatus to be indefinite. Last official date: April 2015.
Things worse than going on a first date include: being eaten alive by a giant snake, the flu and war. Things better than going on a first date include, but certainly aren't limited to, getting something pierced, listening to Nickelback for 24 hours solid and a bikini wax.
- Home life: living rent-free, bill minimum and tight-lipped. What more can you expect from living with your parents? No matter how old you are, you'll have to say where you're going, when you're coming back and if you're going to be back for dinner.
- Work life: hahahahaunemployedhahaha
It'll be interesting to come back to this at the end of 2016 and see how starting from scratch turned out. It's pretty safe to say I'm starting this year with a blank sheet of paper. It's a new dawn, it's a new year, it's a new life. Hopefully...
